I spent the day in deep reflection about the intimacy of the Divine in my life, all of our lives. I had prayed for counsel, necessary personal counsel. In the prayer, I released my hands from the steering wheel of my life, requesting that the Divine take over. I could feel that I was being directed to do something, to see something clearly – but what was it? Finally, I uttered the powerful prayer, “Take charge. I cannot see my way.” Within hours, a seemingly small incident occurs. It escalates. By morning, a heart shattering event is the result. The answer had arrived. My life is drastically changed – just like that. I retreat by habit, by spiritual gravity, into the silence of my interior castle. I am breathless. A part of my life had just evaporated. I had asked for clarity. I had asked heaven to take charge. Now I must gather the pieces of the consequences. In my castle, i sense the fracturing of my heart – and then – just like that – heaven sends in the remedy. The love of beloved friends pour in. I let that love flood into my heart like a salve on an open wound. I feel myself fall even deeper into mystical silence. I am now just a witness to the two sides of my heart – one fractured, one absorbing love. I remember the myth of the two wolves in a dark, cold cave, one pacing with bitterness and one calmed by love. The cave dweller must select one to represent the consequence of the injury life had just given him. Which one will carry the wound out of the cave – the wolf of bitterness or the wolf of love? In times past, I’ve chosen bitterness and watched that wolf leave the cave on my behalf. I wanted the wolf to attack the world, as it had wounded me. I would not be responsible for those attacks – who could control a wolf? But that wolf only bit me – again and again. Now, wiser, I chose the wolf that carried love. I visualized a silk thread and mended my heart in the darkness of the cave. I dwelled in awe and gratitude that a prayer uttered in silence while standing in my kitchen was heard with speed. Whispers reach heaven…I stayed in the silence of my castle for a long time, healing the fractured side of my heart. And then I felt my rich, creature nature rise up and take its place once again in the vast expanse of my interior castle. I felt its sparkle and life force ripple into every cell of my being, animating my being. I could feel my essential self once again – this is who I am in this lifetime. Know thyself and you will know the universe…..Today I bow to the intimate presence of God in my life – in all our lives.
I am so grateful to have this great spiritual thinker in my life, her words are coming from deep within and have such impact on so many. Her refreshing use of the healing and reality of life combine to give hope to so many. I am once again knocked back when I read her work.