Sixty Summers and Still Sixty….

This is one of the first things I did when I got to Arkansas, I went to visit my nephew Hays Enoch. He is standing next to his own design and wordwork creation. He is so talented, everything he does, he excels. This was such a good way to start my summer vacation in Arkansas.

Rootbeer Float for Dinner and other Southern snips……

They say God gives you what you need, not what you want. I think God has it in for me this summer. Well, not me by myself, after all it’s sizzling hot for millions of us living in the South. Today was another 99 degree day, so says the weather channel that I check into on my limited bandwidth usb760. According to the “hourly report” it was predicted to be down to 80 degrees by 10:00 pm. I don’t believe it got that cool at ten pm, as I was outside trying to do plumbing on my Airstream, and sweated off about 10lbs of water. I am probably exaggerating on the lbs part, but the sweating was heavy. As I sat out there, trying to connect the new sewer line to my rv, and the sweat was pouring off my head so fast it almost felt like raindrops, (but salty) I wondered if I was heading for a heart attack, the thought did cross my mind, I mentioned this to my assistant, (my sister) and she reassured me, she was sweating the same as I, it was just the “humidity”. Wow! I totally forgot how much one can sweat here in the south.

I finished my project, unfortunately it still needs more work, this old Airstream has seen better days, and the dang gasket that connects the sewer line rotted out, now I need a new one. Heck, this 1975 model is doing great to be in the condition it is, I am sure that gasket is original, I can live with buying a new one, and then everything will be finished. It is just the heat, it is impossible to work in this stuff, (me that is). I keep asking my sister, “how do people work in this heat?”  seriously, it is freaking hot and when I go outside my energy is drained. I spent the early morning weed eating and mowing, taking the old sewer lines down and getting things ready to put new ones in, that took all my energy and I spent the rest of the day on the couch in my RV. Please, it is hot in there too, I mean hot. Airstreams are fair weather jobs, springtime or fall work best, otherwise  you aren’t getting great temperatures.

Hoarding…. Me thinks…

My parents had this 20 or 30 year old riding lawnmower they were going to have repaired for Kay,  her acre of land is on the cities bad yard list. So, a week or so ago, my mom, sister and I managed, by the grace of God, to push that heavy ass thing up a ramp. load it on the folks truck and drive it to a repairman to see if it could be repaired. I have never done anything of this magnitude (extremely exerting) and when the repairman checked it out, a rod was thrown, this thing is piece of junk, should have been discarded after the first guy told them it was junk 10 years ago. But, no, they held on to it, until they forgot what was wrong with it, and took it again to repairman to be told it was junk. Today my sister had to go get it off his lot, she pushed the monstrance thing back to her house. OMG!! I was in shock? Of course, I was here trying to use her electric weedeater to lower the weeds around my Airstream, a task equally challenging.

My summer vacation is not a vacation, it is not pleasant at all. I hate to complain, but this is bad. Too hot, too much repair work, too exerting and too little to show for it. I was thinking tonight as I took my cold shower, how hard this is, then what I try to do is convince myself I am camping, (without the lake view or nice camp stuff like that), I mean, folks do put out a lot of work to camp, but they are camping at a vacation spot, not a work release lodge.

I ended up buying myself a rootbeer float tonight from a local drive inn, Jerry’s to be precise, it was good, it was cold, sweet and very enjoyable. I even forgot to eat dinner after swilling it down. I am glad I bought it, something I never do. My stomach is churning right now?  I am too tired to eat, and had enough calories already anyway.

Vacationing in my sister’s back yard, in a hot old RV, this is very Arkansas I guess. But, sadly, it is better here than at my parents house, and it is expected that I come here to visit family on my time off. Too hot, too much work, and too tired to think.

Summer in the south? What about this climate change? A few more degrees, I need to grow gills. I cannot take much more heat and it is just June. No one gets this, they are brain dead I think.  I think a heat driven heart attack might be a way out of this? Crazy, not really, just realistic.

June 25, 2011

Still Hot as Hell and Not loving it….

I have been in AD since Wednesday June 15th, I have been in Arkansas since the first week of June. It has been consistently running in the high 90’s the entire visit. Humidity makes it even worse in regard to heavy air and low oxygen. I am basically sick to death of being here. I am counting the hours until sundown, which mean nothing really, just closer to being another day to mark off the calendar and one day closer to leaving Arkansas. I really wish I did not feel so negative toward these visits, but I knew it would not be an  comfortable visit, and it has not exceeded my expectations. Today I felt like I was going to die, seriously,  I did not even care. Heart or heat attack is not a bad way to go. Here is what this day consisted of; get up, feed Apple, get dressed, take Apple on walk, come back to RV and make coffee, sit in computer chair drinking coffee and listen to a friends book on tape (thank you T.O.). His book is my one saving grace for this visit. I fixed my lunch at 11 (ish); cold leftover catfish tacos, not too bad, as good as they were the first time, so, not bad at all really when you think about it that way. Oh, did my “oil pulling” earlier today, forgot to mention that. Then after lunch, gave me and Apple vitamins,  took Apple on another short walk, when I say short, this one is very, very short. So, after such a grueling morning, full of so much activity, I took a nap? What???  (eyebrows raised) I mean really, what is with that? I just barely woke up, did very little, and took yet another nap? I think I am depressed. Got up from nap about 12:30 pm, listened  to more of book on cd, and sat here. I thought about an ice cream float from Jerry’s Drive Inn. But talked myself out of that, too much unhealthy stuff in that ice cream. So little good food in this town. Almost no organics, how do people who want to eat non gmo foods, no rbgh and organic dairy do it here? I see it as a desert of nutrition. Two big grocery stores; Walmart has food and Brookshires. Neither one is doing anything extra to fill their shelves with good healthy foods. I did find some turkey that “says” it has no hormones, and no antibiotics, however it is not grassfed turkey. Labels mean nothing these days, they can put anything on them, I drive to Texarkana a couple times a week and pick up a few grocery items at a little vitamin store called Granary Health Foods, it has great prices, and actually not a bad selection of healthy choices, but way out of my way, and they are closed on Saturday and Sunday. Either health food business is booming in Texarkana and they don’t have to be open on the busiest grocery shopping day of the week, or they just like having weekends off and don’t care if folks like shopping on Saturday’s for their groceries. Either way, I am so glad I don’t have to live here and deal with that mentality, I hate to gripe (but I am) grocery stores that refuse to be open on Saturday? What?

Rootbeer Float?

I have been wishing for another RB float for days, it seems to be the one special item that is appealing to me, and it, of course is not healthy at all. But, this heat is not healthy, did I mention the paper mill? I could smell it last night and it was horrific, I am sure that is not helping my energy levels. God help these poor Arkansas folks who are imprisoned by the continued sensual assaults to the bodies by this giant of chemical company, one that spews it deadly fumes day in and day out. Of course to hear this company tell it, it is all rosebud and lavender fumes coming from those death defying smoke stacks that appears to spread across the skyline as wide as a the New York skyline at night time. I cough and gag just thinking about that smell.

I am ready to go back to Virginia, but when I get there, even though there is not much pollution in C’ville, the crime rate is daunting and I basically dread living in that huge house alone for the next six weeks. But, it is cool, full of amenities, and free for me to live in, none of which I have at the moment.

Fans

I have three fans running in a room that is 15 feet long and 9 feet wide, those three fans help move the air “conditioned” air coming from the air conditioner which never stops running. Right now the room temp is at 86 degrees. If one were to open the outside door for more than 15 seconds, the room temp will go up a degree or two.

Ants?

I have to fight them with such vengeance that I get to feeling like I am engaged in combat mission. I mean it, really? No food can sit on counter, ever, and the old fridge has such worn out seal, that they can enter the fridge, not so much the freezer. Thank goodness. But, on a more positive note, my new refrigerator/freezer will be delivered first of next week, and this old one gets booted out the door. I am still going to have to deal with ants, but at least not in refrigerator. Ants seem to surround this rv, they must have a trench built around it, I don’t see how else they can get to my counter so fast, they seem to live within inches of my living space? I don’t do poison controls, and the non toxic product I am spraying kills them on the spot, trouble is, they have back up troops in the zillions. I really do need to investigate this problem more in the future, as of now, (I am leaving in a few days) I will not spend much effort trying to fix this problem.

This year, I put up a thicker tarp on the area of my rv that gets the most sunlight. I think it has helped, maybe another tarp or two and I can actually feel cool air in the afternoons?  That would be awesome. I have replaced all the plastic sewer line (should I take this up and not let it rot this year?)  I bought a slinky like holder for the sewer line, it is definitely going to be stored, it is a wonderful improvement to my setup. As stated, new fridge/freezer, and I also bought a twin size blowup mattress for the living room, so during the afternoon, I can lay on it to nap. Nice idea, but cramped area makes it a little hard to put down and limited storage has created drawbacks.

Apple’s first summer here….

Apple took a while to acclimate to the RV, it was her first summer in it, and she did not love it. Peaches had lived in it for a few months back in 2006 when we lived on the White River in Northwest Arkansas, so she was used to being inside and her scent was here also.  Apple has settled in, but she is a young teenager, and she likes to go outside and run around the yard. It is too hot to run around the yard, so she gets impatient. I dang sure don’t like to be out in the heat, and during the late evening I am too exhausted to want to be outside very much either, so she is getting cheated.

Shar Pei’s at Jack’s Isle today…..(and other Jack’s Isle discoveries)

I took this picture near the fishing dock on Jack’s Isle. Interesting how much this area looks like something out of south Louisiana bayou, of course the high humidity and huge growth of alligators, snakes and turtles, gives this place an eerie swamp appeal. You would never get me out in a boat in that mess. I had a friend whose wife drowned in this area when I was about 14 years old. What a horrible place to drown?

 My sister and I saw three pretty cool looking Shar Pei’s, the owner came outside, we stood in the road and talked Shar Pei’s. He raises them, they are pretty too. He told me that none of them have skin problems, and I looked pretty close and they don’t. The did not have patchy skin and they all stay outside? Hmmmm? Makes me wonder, could it be the indoor/outdoor air switching back and forth that is hurting Apple more that the heat?  Apple got out of car (on leash) and met the other Shar Pei’s, but she wasn’t that impressed. She did not seem to realize that this was her tribe. Her main attention, on the owner, but she did not jump on him, and would sit on command. I was happy she showed him her manners.

Rootbeer day….

I did it, I got another Rootbeer Float today, that makes two since I arrived here. Mmmmmm it was so good. I enjoyed it to the MAX. Cool, refreshing, sweet and lasted me a while. I enjoyed every slurp and sip. Heck, what is a sixty year old crone to enjoy in life, if she no longer drinks alcohol, smokes, dips, or dates? Right? LOL ….. (I never did dip) funny though!

It is almost sundown, time for a nice cold shower. If you keep the water running at a low drip/spray, and you have a good thick washrag, heat up some water using the electric coffee pot, and mix that into a gallon jug of water, add into the mix, bathroom of the RV is hot as hell,  you can have a great shower. I do have a small electric water heater, it is a good one, but it is not connected to the water supply right now, and it is a HUGE hassle to connect, I would rather just cold shower.

Sunday June 26th…..

Best Time of Day…

It is now 8:19am, it is the very best time of day here in the hot, humid south. June is almost over, so as usual the heat will begin to leave it’s mark on the night and the early mornings will no longer hold that cool brisk evening air. The earth will warm, the extreme hot days will penetrate into the core of the earth and seep back into the night as a ghost would coming to collect his past. I have not actually lived in Southwest Arkansas for over 20 years. I moved to Northwest Arkansas, that was my choice after moving to Florida for one brutal hurricane ridden summer. That particular summer was inundated with 5 hurricanes, the last one sent me reeling back toward inland. Hurricanes have a way of getting ones attention, even more so than tornadoes, see, even when tornadoes touch down, more times than not, they hit some places and miss others in it’s path (exceptions do exist; ex. Joplin MO 2011) however, most tornadoes have history of less destructive natures than hurricanes. So, when the coast of Florida had 5 hurricanes that one summer, I found it to be so unsettling, that I tucked my tail and headed to dryer land. Also, there was the humidity, goodness, my hair was a horrid mess in that temp/humid climate. Northwest Arkansas was good to me, I lived in the area for many years, I made lots of friends, and survived, but, actually never found a good paying job. Nothing against the existing job structure, just nothing that appealed to me. So far, Virginia has been my heaven. But, N/W AR has a good climate, has a nice rural feel, folks are pretty rugged, but good quality people. I miss it, but have moved on to greener pastures. No Regrets.

The niceness of the morning will soon evaporate into a sizzling hot bed of molten heat rising from the earth while also searing down from the sun.  Today the sun will gather all it’s gusto, and beam itself toward me with all it’s strength, as to say, I am gunning for you old crone. I believe this is the time of year to die, if it is to be, then be it. I am sure those whose time has come and do not have air conditioners will move on to God’s healing love. It must be alluring during this time of year. I am sure of that.

My battle with the fridge/freezer…..

That old fridge is on it’s last leg, I have babied my food inside the freezer section for a week now. I rearrange the food up and down in the freezer all through the day, placement is the key. Apple’s dog food is raw diet. I have to thaw it, keep it cold, but not frozen. Too much to worry about during this heat. Traveling with a dog who eats raw food is impossibly difficult, her sensitive digestive system is hard to work with, how did I have this happen?  I was just trying to give her the best diet possible, one that fits her delicate needs, but those yard dog Shar Pei’s , they did not have any of her privileges, outside, no special raw diet, no supplements, and they all looked fine? Really makes me wonder??/  Cannot wait to share this information with the forum.

Today…..

Kay and I drive back down to Fouke to help Aubrey with his tomato crop, his field has produced an immense number of tomatoes, 100+++ of lbs.

We are going to help him freeze what we can. Amazing bumper crop. I like going there…..we will have a good day. I pray. Please God, open my mind and show me your wisdom. Help me to follow your guidance in all ways. Help me to get out of myself and be there for others. Send cooling breeze will be good too! Oxoxoxo

New Day (June 27th 2011)

What to do, what to do….

Well, plans fell through regarding my Fouke adventure. That is common in my family. However, nothing to fret about actually. Things were not in sync for my needs, and I am running low on time here in Arkansas. I am pressing myself, not actually any kind of time clock, I just wanted to leave before the 4th of July. All it represents for me is hot weather, empty days, and disappointing outcomes. Why would I like any of that? Right?

Well, today is refrigeration day, I get my new one, and I do not want to miss that guy who is delivering it here, because I want him to lift it into the rv (ugh…missed him, had to drag it over here and lug into the RV). Then I can shove this old one, out the door and onto the ground,  maybe even use it to stand on to get on top of RV, weather permitting. But, back to time and my pressing need (feeling) to get the hell out of dodge. Let me write this down, maybe, just maybe, I can still go before the 4th. First, I have several things hanging, one is climbing like a monkey up on Airstream roof, which has nothing to grab or hang on, then hoist myself on roof. Plus, Airstreams being aerodynamically built, the dome style roof, is rather perplexing, especially when your ladder does not reach the top. Mine does not? I don’t even know if I can actually do this?  Of course, the actual work is not a big deal, once I land on top. So, we will see, I haven’t been able to find anyone up the time of day when  I need to get on top of it, and so the story goes, I just sit and stew. I need someone around, if I did fall, no one to call for help. But hey, I do have my cell phone now, I can use that? Hmmm? That makes sense. Still this old fridge hold promise for me to stand on to get up there.

The refrigerator has been keeping me busy, moving things around inside that freezer, which is working as a fridge in spots and freezer in spots, but in order to keep things cold, and not frozen, one must be diligent. What else, well…I need to drop off my laundry and have it washed and folded, I need to clean up outside the rv and oh, did I mention paint the roof of the bedroom, a task which was never completed. I guess it was not finished because it seems so easy. But, there are still only small windows of opportunity in which to do any of this work and when the sun beats down and the temp inside the standing area gets to 100 degrees, I have nothing left to give. The only difference in being inside and outside is shade from the sunlight. Still hot as hell.

Time is running out….

Today is 27th, my eta was 29th? I need to be in Prescott at least that morning or sometime tomorrow evening? No can do……<heavy sigh>

The thing is, if I don’t leave on the 29th or 30th, I have to go on the weekend, when travel is going to be hectic? Or maybe not so much? Not sure? Hotels will be higher, but I am only paying for one night anyway, the other will be free. Gas prices? I think will be lower, they keep going down.  I don’t know what happened that kept me from doing what needed to get done during these days I spent here, I did get my car tags, I did get my divorce/marriage dates that I need to get my passport, I did paint some, I did do
some yard work, I did blog some, and tomorrow morning I have set aside some time to visit some old friends whom I have not seen since back in the early 90’s or so. That is worthwhile stuff. I shall write about that later.

I wish the rv would stay the temp it is right now, running at mid 70’s and back bedroom in the high 70’s, goodness, it was hotter than this most of the evening when I went to bed, I mean, it was just awful last night.

It will be in the 100’s outside today, why do I kid myself, and it will be awful inside. No easy answers, and nothing yet resolved. Later………

June 28th _  A Wonderful Walk in the Park…..

Meetup with Jim Presley and Georgia Daily at Springlake Park – Texarkana, Texas

What a wonderful day it has been, drove to Texarkana, Texas, spent the first part of my day visiting with two wonderful friends from days gone by. Georgia Daily and Jim Presley – priceless endeavor.

Georgia and I go back to the early 80’s when she was the College Neighborhood Community Center director and I was housed in one of the offices at that same center working with troubled youth in the community. I was hired by Wayland Loveall and placed in that center by county, city and state funding. Georgia and I had two different bosses, and two separate reasons to be there, hers was more involved with the Sr Citizens and mine youth. She and I became good friends, but I always regarded her as one of my semi bosses. I managed to keep that job for about two years, about as long as I kept any job I ever had.

Jim Presley and I are friends through an entirely different venue, we both had become members of a community environmental group called F.U. S. E., Friends United for a Safe Environment. I think Jim was one of the founders of this group, he is still actively involved in it.

My visit with them was one special event. I was honored they wanted to meet back up with me. It was certainly a fulfilling morning. We met at 8:00 am, while it was still breezy and shady at the park, it is a nice area to do such things in Texarkana. I enjoyed going there. Georgia looks great, she is and has always been a special lady. Her independence has always been inspiring and now seeing her gallantly moving toward her 9th decade is true testament this amazing woman. At any age she is inspiring, but certainly now she carries the torch of inspiration even further. I truly admire her.

Jim is also an inspiration to me, he  made me laugh, he told me he saw me as a meteorite when I joined F.U.S.E., he said I came in from no where, and streamed across the sky brightly lit up, and suddenly disappeared as fast as I arrived.  That metaphor fits me  more than my short stint at F.U.S.E. Basically, my ability to come to life for short intervals is to not unique to the time I spent working hard in F.U.S.E., it serves me well in most areas of my life. I am also inspired by Jim’s perseverance to his calling and need to be surrounded by folks like he and Georgia.

Bzzzzzz ing around this Morning….

Task at hand, get on top of Airstream, patchup some broken plastic that was hail damaged so rain will not pour into my Airstream during the next year.

I devised a plan, went to store, bought supplies and ask my sister to assist me in the project. Plan was to push that old fridge next to RV, use aluminum ladder to climb on fridge, put a ice chest on top of fridge, (steady ice chest with rubber backed door mat) and climb on RV (imagine a Rube Goldburg setup).  After getting up on RV, apply a good covering of thick vinyl to cover holes. Well thought out plan, simple to complete. All was going splendid until I ran across about six angry red wasp. They were obviously guarding the exact space I needed to fix. (ugh!). So, as I steadied myself, I hollered down at Kay to hurry and get the Cedarcide (non toxic) spray, and it was great, I managed to defend myself and run them away from the opening, but alas, it was not the six temperamental wasp that were going to be my concern, nope…upon reaching to break loose the broken plastic , I soon discovered that beneath that cover was a giant nest of huge, angry, swarming red wasp. I had stirred them up and they were all coming toward me. I could only think of one goal, that was to get the hell off the roof of the RV before I got stung multiply times and ended up falling to the ground. So, I screamed (girl thing to do first) then slid off the roof, barely touching the ladder or the refrigerator. Kay said I touched nothing, just glided off the roof. I believe it, I was in full retreat.

So, now I have to go about this project with a new priority, first kill the red wasp. I have two issues, one is just reaching the nest with spray while maintaining safe distance. Then, keeping the hole plugged inside, so as not to get the poison spray inside my RV. I took on second part of task first, I have covered the inside fixture with paper towels and then a good plastic covering. Now I have to wait (again) until sundown to spray the nest, (going to follow directions on this detail).  Then, climb back on top of Airstream and resume my original project.  I got stung one time so far today, not bad considering, and MOM’s (milk of magnesia) was handy and contained the sting. My elbow is what got stung, and it is kind of swollen, but otherwise I am fine.

Fighting Wasp and Other nest…..

I was ready to kill the wasp this morning, got up on the ladder, aimed my can of wasp killer at the nest, and sprayed, it was a only a partial can, so the stream of poison did not last too long. I only saw 2 wasp come out of the nest. What??? I was not really very confident that it killed the wasp, so I took off to the local feed and seed supply to restock the ammo. Returned armed with a full can of spray, stood upon my sisters pickup truck bed, climbed up the ladder, aimed and sprayed right into the space where the wasp were housing. Still, nothing, no swarming wasp? The fact of the matter is, I know there were at least thirty wasp coming at me yesterday, while Cedarcide spray may have misted the nest inadvertently as I was battling the six wasp that came at me first, I cannot imagine the nest was evacuated because of the minor misting. Now when I sprayed the first spray only two flew out, and the second spray was equally unproductive. Either the nest is empty, or I just killed them dead with my spraying and they fell out and did not swarm, or the worse case scenario, they are still alive and well, honing in on their nest, and I did not even get close to killing them?  That is where I am at this point, and I am getting very tired of this entire project. So, I will have a taller ladder, tomorrow I will once again venture up on top of Airstream, see if this taller ladder will help me see inside the hole, and go from there. Did I mention that just because I saw only one nest up there does not mean there is only one, where there is smoke there is fire, and those dam wasp love RV’s in the summer in the south.

It rained a small shower this evening, I took a late nap, slept until about 9:30 pm, got up, drove to Walmart, picked up a few groceries, when in Rome, do as the Roman’s, if the rest of the town can eat that dreadful food, I suppose I can manage to get by on it for a few more days. I bought some fresh avocado’s, whole wheat bread that is made without hfcs, and actually sweetened with stevia, yes! Got Apple some pumpkin puree, ground turkey ( she eats raw diet). I tried to find a free wifi spot, McDonald’s would not work for me and both little motels in town have their systems setup with passcodes, shez? Cheap little town. My broadband  30 days are up, not spending any more money on that anyway, it is not really worth it, or so it seems, I must increase the mail hold with post office in Virginia and soon.

It is now 12:30 am, I need to go back to sleep, I had a good nap, but now it’s time for bed. Maybe it will be cooler tomorrow. One can always hope!

July 1st – Hot time in the South

Just returned from my first duty of the day, walking Apple, and without her, no way would I be out doing that much needed exercise. I literally force myself to walk her, nothing else could motivate me so. I am grateful. I sit here with my first cup of java and laptop in my lap, recording my early morning thoughts. It is July, now the real hot summer begins. I don’t know how much cooler it will be in Charlottesville, but it won’t be as consistently humid, and that in itself brings comfort to me. I somewhat dread the drive back, but with the two nights on the road in hotels, it is not that bad. We can manage much nicer that way. Money does have it’s way of adding comfort to our lives. I think it is a great tool, but what seems to have happened in our country, is money has become a god, and when that happened, we as humans seem to have forgotten that it is not the end all, just another one of many tools we have been given. I live a meager lifestyle by most  measurements, but, I find ways to sprinkle in additional comforts as well. For example, I certainly have the time to run up to laundrymat and do my laundry, however, I made a decision to pay someone else, and it was very worthwhile. I am also drinking organic grown coffee, certainly an additional expense, but considering that coffee is one of the most highly sprayed (with poisons) of all plants, to me, it is a necessity, but many of my fellow contemporaries don’t see it my way, it is obvious from the limited selection of organic coffee’s in the regular grocery stores. Money can be used in many good ways, and I am not against it, I am against the way we seem to justify selling our souls in order to gain more than we need. We do not need huge spacious houses, we can get by with much smaller space, we do not need fancy luxury cars, we can get by with smaller more fuel efficient ones as well. I am sure some would tell me they are giving themselves these special pleasures the same way I am giving myself organic coffee. Not really, you don’t think I am falling for that one, or do you? I am laughing right now. I did not sell my soul to have either good coffee or take my clothes to the laundry mat for God’s sake. My footprint is very small, and my soul is in a good place.

Choices

“If we knew the consequences of our actions, our decisions,  would you want to know? If you kiss that girl, if you talk to that man, if you take that job or marry that person. If we knew what would happen in the end would we ever be able to take the first step, to make the first move? Quoted from movie

I like the questions this quote raises, for when I look back at many decisions I have made, I wonder what actions would have been different had I known the outcome going into my relationships. I would venture to say all of my relationships with men were based totally upon emotions, and never did I base any decisions on rational facts. For example, Rick D, he was just about the worst possible guy that I have ever dated. He was however, one of the great loves of my life.

When I first met him, I avoided him like the plague, I knew intellectually he was a bad choice, but he persisted and he managed to win me over, and after that, it was down a very deep rabbit hole I went. I could go on describing the fatal decisions I made in all of the men in my life, but in reality, they are all basically the same, bad choices, and certain doomed outcomes. If I had known the outcomes would I have allowed those relationship choices to expand? I guess it would depend on how certain the “knowing” was, I mean, falling in love with a guy who was 17 years younger (not the guy in this photo, another bad choice I made in my middle 40’s) than I was is pretty certain not a good decision and it would not take a fortune teller to tell me the outcome, right? I did not care, I let my heart lead me and failed to listen to anyone tell me otherwise. I am not so sure it would have been different no matter who was giving me the final outcome early on. I mean, I knew he was younger than me pretty fast into our meeting, I just ignored the facts.

I have no regrets, I have a good life, I have allowed myself to be swept away in utter impetuous romance, throwing care to the wind. Complete abandon and back again, so what, I would say, I defy the gods to hand me to the court of good judgment, allow me to follow my heart, I love this life. Hurt? Oh hell yes, I have cried a river of tears, I have felt the pains of deep grief meant for the suicide bound. I have defied all the odds and gone back for more. Regrets? No, for a person like myself, this was the life I wished for, and today I am completely and utterly content. It doesn’t get much better than that.  Now about that Rootbeer Float?  I have earned it.

Patched one hole and one to go…

I finally succeeded in climbing up on the airstream and patching one of the holes. Oh dear, what a wonderful feeling it was to accomplish this dreaded of dreaded task. I have stalled, made up excuses, found more excuses, rationalized, exaggerated, drug around like a dying slug, and basically for the last two or three years, put this off. (seriously) You laugh right? Me too. Good god, how long can one be so full of disdain toward a task? Of course the wasp encounter was enough to prove my lack of motivation to be worthwhile. However, while up there this morning working on hole two, I kept peering back at hole one (keeping a keen eye on the “nest”) and never did even see one wasp. I think I got the nest the other day, now I am just dragging my ass because I worry about the tremendous amount of poison sprayed on the roof (more excuses). But, to my pleasure, this morning I was able to successfully apply patchwork to the other (hole two) without even stepping off the ladder, which is going to help when I go back up to complete my job. I began this job about 8 oclock, and by the time I finished it was already too hot to even consider the other hole. Good gosh, how do those roofers do this kind of work? I could see a covey of them over at Cowlings Insurance Co roof from where I stood on my ladder this morning, all I can say, is good for them, I was about to die after my few minutes up there, and I refuse to continue in that heat. I would like to say, maybe none of them are sixty years old, but those Mexicans are made for this heat, I think? I don’t have any Mexican in my blood. So there. That is my excuse and I am sticking to it.

So, with that that hole finally patched up, and one last detail in that arena to go, I can begin to finalize my plans to move toward packing the old airstream for it long summer and winter sleep.

Made the list, seems pretty doable. Nothing really heavy or hard. Just cleaning up, empty food from all spaces, put out the rat/mice controls, gather my clothes, computers, cameras, vitamins, take all trash out, pick up card board and discard, secure that a/c (another pretty comical setup of my design) pick up the slinky devise holding my rv sewer line, fill bathtub and let it “swoosh” my sewer line (uh, not in that order), put away my extension cords. Not much else, but it will be work, and during the heat of day, all work is exhausting.

My plan, leave Monday?  (I think)

Just threw this one in, I love to photograph old barns, this is one down at the Enoch Berry Farm in Fouke.

My Plan to leave was changed by the weather. Apple and I evacuated the RV on Saturday afternoon, the inside temp hit 96 degrees, and it was climbing. It was at that juncture that I made a snap decision to hit the highway and move on back to Virginia for the remainder of the summer. I finished patching the roof on Sunday morning. No more wasp in site, that was a welcome relief. I cautiously climbed on the roof early Sunday morning and very carefully examined the area where the red wasp nest had been and whatever I had used, some of it got rid of them. So, I dug those old nest out of the area that I was going to cover, crawled up on top of RV and went to work taping down the vinyl covering. I would like to have done this project with the right materials, but living in the boonies, and not knowing exactly which parts I need, I have to do what I can. This old airstream is holding up well, and as long as I can keep the water from getting inside during the next couple of years, I can fix it back up (just like new).  So successfully completeing that project was a huge load off my shoulders, and I immediately went to work finalizing the closing down of airstream and packing my car for the trip back East. It is grueling work, kind of like digging post holes, no one wants to help. I just drag along, sweating and toiling. I sit, sweat and rest, then keep going. I had checked the hourly temperature on the weather channel, so I knew how much time I had before it would get too hot to do what I had to, so I was pushing myself my meet the deadline. I got it all done, stopped and bought a big bag of ice for my fancy new 5 day igloo, and drove to Prescott to say bye to the folks. I was on the road by 2:30pm heading for Jackson Tenn, which is where I spend my first night on the road.

Driving back to Virginia is getting to be rather monotonous,  I have been going up and down this route for five years. I have tried different routes, none are very interesting, the problem is traveling alone. I wouldn’t mind venturing off the beaten path, I have done it at times, but it is still not that worthy of the added time I put on the long journey back here. I liked it last summer when I spent a couple extra nights in Tunica Mississippi, and no, I did not go to the casinos. I wanted to take some photos of the older plantation areas, there was once an interesting little agricultural community there, but, exploring this stuff alone has it’s downfalls and yet, even if someone was helping me drive, they wouldn’t be interested in what I was, so there. No point whining about that. Heard of “Driving Miss Daisy”? that would be my best scenerio, Driving Miss Jimmie, yep, that would be the ticket.

I spent night two in Kingsport, TN., I like the hotel, and once I am back on the road, it is only 4 hours to Charlottesville. I was back here by 4pm yesterday. It was a good feeling being home. The house was cool, the outside temp here has been amazing. I have rested all day today, and plan on taking this week very easy. Apple even seems to be in a more relaxed mode.

One last thought, and not really sure what is going on, but I feel so sad. I hardly ever feel so sad, yet I have this feeling that I abandoned ship by leaving Arkansas. I mean it, I feel like I saw the downing of the Titanic and abandoned it before it hit the iceburg.  I hope this feeling goes away soon, it is not healthy.

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