They don’t find my musings amusing…..

and other tid-bits….

I am not young enough to know everything

Oscar Wilde

 

I stuck my head in the tv room today, and told the young house manager that the cleaning lady told me we were already out of  Tp. To that she shrugged and seemed almost distantly “not amused” but even more almost insulted. Why? I don’t know. How do you insult a teenager? (19 years old)

So I went on to say, trying to be on the upside, well, we still have plenty of “sniffy sniff “and pointed to my nose, and no one laughed or even grinned. I then go what is that stuff? Still no one answered me, and the she told me “it is Kleenex”, of course I know that, but I was trying to be glib. I was trying to get a little comic relief to what seemed to be a strained situation. They do that to me all the time here, I am pretty used to being found “not funny”.

I have been mulling that over all morning, well here is how  it goes…….

I house a little cage
up in my head
inside the little cage
a squirrel is fed

what does he eat ?
he eats what I feed it
the more I feed it
he spins really fast

how do I stop him
how do he rest?
how do I get this little vermin
out of my nest?

I don’t know, do you?
If you do
tell me too,
cause this little guy
is giving me fits
feels like living
in the pits…..

 

I love to laugh, it is my greatest form of instant relief. I also know it has been my shield and sometimes it has been my knife. I don’t use it as a weapon so much anymore, that sort of disolved as I grew to understand how it was affecting me. It is like the saying “judge not, lest ye be judged” and it can also apply to laugh at. “laugh not at others, lest ye be laughed”. See that form of criticism is harmful to both the judged and the judger. I never fully understood that until I grew up some. There is an art to non-judgement, and it comes with learning how to calm the mind.

 

But still, there is a very healthy result of having a “laugh with” abilty in life.

 

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Bill Crosby

 

I have always managed to wiggle out of strained situations by injecting a little humor, or at least that is what I used to be able to do. However, the older I get and the younger my housemates are (is this called “generation gap”?) I notice the humor is not such a common bond. I also have had to learn that not only am I not so funny anymore, I more or less totally invisable at times. I walk by [house residents] and they don’t even seem to notice me. I don’t need to be adored, mind you, but the invisiblilty can dig into ones psychic and then it become a bit painful. I have also become more and more aware of the concept “it is not all about you” and that is soooo true. I used to think that everything I brushed past, was “about me”. heavy sigh….what a burden it was to live that way. I do get real freedom in knowing that “it ain’t all about me”.

 

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Oscar Wilde

Good old OW, he was on the mark (in my view) with his quotes. However, it is all about perception, and even to the end of seeing others as tedious. I really don’t have to make judgment either way, good, bad, charming, tedious, all of that is coming from ego’s little labeling processes. I am really the awareness that is seeing that and if I am the awareness, then I just see it as it “is”. Simple as that. It just is.

 

Freedom….

It’s interesting that the path to peace often is war. We, like you, don’t agree that it’s making things better, but we don’t think they’re wrong; and we understand the thinking behind it. And if you get involved in every disagreement of every point of Consciousness, your life’s just going tobe in a scramble. Finally you have to say,”This isn’t about me. I didn’t wage this war. I didn’t pick this war. I don’t understand this war. I’m not going to think about this war, and I’m not going to use it as my excuse to not feel good any more.”

— Abraham

 

So I am going to go with Abraham today, actually I have been on this path for a while. Here is where I get to say that for me today, I love to take photographs and Love to look at pretty pictures. I get peace and fulfilment from both. I also like to dream of the place that lives in my head where I go when I see my most fulfilling dream…

 

Life is happening right now, that is the only place where my actions can make any choices. I can look back at the past and see trends, I can look toward the future and make plans, but this moment is the only one that I can actually “do something”.

 

So, in the end, it is not their approval or dis-approval of my humor that is going to give me pleasure, it is my awareness that everything just IS. It is and that is ALL.

 

have fun

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